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How to put the kids first in a divorce

Most people in California and elsewhere believe that the interests of a child should come first in a divorce. However, ego and an individual's own self-interest may not always allow that to happen. Parents who are going through the divorce process may need to create a plan to restore trust and ensure that they raise a happy and healthy child.

It may be in the best interest for divorcing parents to put whatever parenting plan they come up with in writing. It should cover who gets the children and when each parent has them. There should be protocols put in place in case a schedule needs to be changed either in advance or at the last minute. This may reduce confusion for parents and children and prevent the parents from fighting with each other.

A plan should also make sure that the rules and boundaries are enforced no matter who the child is with. Parents should also decide as soon as possible who will make medical decisions for the child and who will be responsible for meeting with teachers or attending other school events. Regardless of the terms of the agreement divorcing parents may come up with, it should be understood that neither parent talks poorly about the other in front of the children.

Parents who are going through a divorce may wish to talk with an attorney. Legal counsel may help mothers and fathers obtain maximum parental rights that may include legal custody of or visitation with a child. As the law prefers both parents contribute to raising a child, a mother or father may get child custody or visitation rights even if the other parent objects. This is generally true assuming the parent isn't a danger to the child.

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